Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
how drunk are you?
Several
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
