You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
