well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
