I CAN MOONWALK!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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