All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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