Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
