Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I touched a dick in church today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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