I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
