I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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