I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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