my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
