Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
