Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
