Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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