yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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