have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
