playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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