yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
