i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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