Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
