Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
