I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
