This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
