happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
