David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
