You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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