so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
