Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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