and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
