Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
