We need to rekindle our bromance
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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