We're like a lot better than the average bears
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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