you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize