I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
