I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
