i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
