sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
