she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
