your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
