can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize