He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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