Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I supernannyed him into submission
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
