Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
