I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
