1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
