Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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