morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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