Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
