I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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