My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
