its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
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