Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
