Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
