I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize