My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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