I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
