Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He better not be in your backpack
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
