GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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