you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
