Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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