Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize