Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
