This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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