wat bout pragnant strippers??
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
