so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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