I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
