I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
