Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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