guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
