Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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